Hi guys,it’s me again. It has been interesting taking you through my journey. Thank you so much for allowing me the privilege of doing so. My journey is getting more and more clearer as well as more and more complicated. Hahaha!! Well not really complicated but many things have come up and I have had to let go of many things as well. But that’s what it is all about,isn’t it? Ooohhh purging has not been easy!! Especially the things I had really become attached to like what I wanted to achieve this year 2020. And then in my mentoring group,we were told to make a vision board.
“Then the Lord answered me and said: “ Write the vision,and make it plain on tablets,That he may run who reads it.”Habakkuk 2:2 NKJV
Hahaha!!! It’s not as easy as it sounds. And yes, I probably wondered if it was really worth it but I am a good student. Yes, I always do what the teacher says but most especially, I knew that if I wanted a change in my life,I had to bring all of me to the table and do this to the best of my ability. We were told to divide our board into four areas- the first was for what we wanted in one year, the second was what we wanted in three years,the third was for five years and the last was ten years and beyond. Now you may think that is easy. It is not. At all!!! What do I want to be,to do and to have within those time frames? Nop,it’s not as easy.
So I got out my magazines and that was already a challenge. I keep magazines and books. I am a reader. This is my treasure and now I have to cut the magazine up. I literally felt pain thinking about doing this. It was sacrilege. But then, I told myself- Is it the magazine u care so much about or your vision? That’s how the magazine went. Chop chop! It was actually fun cutting up the different images that I needed for my vision board. But what was most fun was the envisioning- dreaming about what I wanted,what I desired for my future- yes,like I said earlier on,it entailed digging up old dreams and even discarding some that did not represent the me of today or the me I hope to be.
Figuring out what I wanted within a year and all the way to ten years and beyond took a lot. You would imagine that it shouldn’t but it did. Because I had to be honest with myself and ask myself- Do I really want this? Or am I saying so because it is what everyone else wants for themselves and sometimes even for me? It was letting go of the traditions,the culture,the fear and truly being honest with myself and say,” This is what I really want.”
“Hope seems like the summer birds. Too swiftly flown away. Yet now I’m standing here. My hearts so full, I cant explain.Seeking faith and speaking words.I never though I’d say. There can be miracles. When You believe. Though hope is frail. It’s hard to kill.”When you believe- Prince of Egypt~Mariah Carey and Whitney Houston
You see that is what it’s all about. Believing!!! Trusting that even if right now,I can not see it, one day it will indeed come to pass. Am I scared? Hahaha,yes I am. I am afraid of being disappointed again. My hope is frail but it is still there. In the scriptures,it says Faith as small as a mustard seed can move mountains. Sometimes it feels like my faith may be smaller than a mustard seed but it’s there. It’s not dead. And that gives me peace because when all is said and done,isn’t that what a miracle is all about? So I am going to continue believing,no matter what. Because that’s who I am. This is me!