It’s been a really hard day. If you have been with me from the beginning, I am on a journey to discovering myself and with that, I challenged to write a blog post every day for 21 days. It’s Day 10. And I woke up and I was in so much pain. I have sickle cell disease so for some reason,today chose to be the day for a crisis. I thank God that I have not been hospitalized.
“ The most adventurous journey to embark on;is the journey to yourself,the most exciting thing to discover ,is who you really are,the most treasured pieces that you can find;are all the pieces of you,the most special portrait you can recognize;is the portrait of your soul.”C. Joybell C.
I am a morning person so I am most creative and productive in the morning but today,since I was in pain,I was not going to write. I was going to try and relax and maybe sleep off the pain. I told myself-Patricia,you are sick. You are in pain. You have the right excuse not to write anything. Tomorrow is another day. Today you are going to love Patricia and work on looking after Patricia.I did exactly that and then I woke up and I was so burdened.
I could not understand why till I realized that it was because I had not written. It didn’t really make sense to me because I thought I was loving myself by allowing myself to care for myself through this crisis. I am in pain for goodness sakes. Until I realized that self-love or self-care comes in different forms. Yes,it can be me just sleeping,relaxing my body and keeping warm till the pain subsides. Or it can be me working through the pain and writing this post because this is something very important to me and is very much part of my journey.
A friend posted in a whatsapp group a beautiful quote that I must share. I do not know who the author is. “Be fearless in the pursuit of what sets your soul on fire.” This quote spoke to me. I was lying in bed,trying to find the most comfortable position and this quote made me sit up because I heard my mentor asking me in my left ear if I valued my vision. I was like,”Aaahhh,leave me alone”. The nagging continued- are you fearless in the pursuit of your writing? I was like,Yes,of course!Then why are you making a crisis keep you from writing? To be fearless is not the absence of fear but doing inspite of it.
Launching This is me is what sets my soul on fire. It has given me direction where I once was aimless. It has shown me that my story is not so unique. Of course,we are all unique with different stories however there are themes to our stories that cut across and we can all learn from each other,especially if we take the time to listen. When I realized how much I valued This is me,how much it set my soul on fire. I got up and started writing.
“I am a survivor. I’m not gonna give up. I’m not gonna stop. I’m gonna work harder. I’m a survivor. I’m gonna make it. I will survive. Keep on surviving”Survivor ~Destiny’s Child
We have all survived something that could have broken us. It may have been a physical illness or an emotional hurt or even the loss of a loved one. It doesn’t matter what it may have been but all these things have one thing in common- pain. There are some pains that are easily dealt with through an injection of a painkiller like morphine and there are some pains that are only dealt with through time. It could be a short time or a long time but that time is required to heal you and me. But in the mean time, we keep on loving ourselves because that is what is needed during that season. In the end, we rise up as survivors. Will you allow yourself that time? I will. Because that’s who I am. This is me.