I smiled when I read the below quote because I have gone through this a number of times and it is such an empowering feeling. You feel connected to this person like never before. It’s friending out loud.
But what exactly is friendship? It is a social relationship that has no physical ties but binds people together into a strong emotional bond. Mmmhhh, that doesn’t really make it easy to understand. Sometimes there are not enough words to describe what friendship is so I am going to talk about this in layman language from my perspective.
Friendship- when I think of my friends, it’s a time where we would have sleepovers, wake up late and look for something to eat- we definitely did not want to shower or cook, just get something quick or order in and continue being unproductive, binging on one romantic movie after the other- The Notebook was always in the list, even if we had watched it a million times. It was a time to let our hair down, albeit be our stinky selves and it was ok.
It is that friend that comes out of the blue- like for real and you get chatting and chatting and chatting and suddenly it feels like you have known this person forever because they know parts of you that you have never shared before. It’s the waking up to a good morning or remembering something silly and you just have to share or just the conversations that go on and on about nothing and everything. It’s the knowing that you have found a safe place- almost like a homecoming.
Do you remember Friends, the ’90’s sitcom based in Manhattan, about 6 friends who go through just about every life experience imaginable together; love, marriage, divorce, children, heartbreaks, fights, new jobs and job losses and all sorts of drama. That is actually what I see when I think about friendship? The kind of friendship where you will root for each other even if you had an argument ten minutes earlier?
“Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, ’What! You too? I thought I was the only one.”C.S Lewis
Friending Out Loud
I was always come out of those weekends or conversations like a new person, ready to conquer the world and I always wondered why. Was it the complete acceptance of my person? Or was it the knowledge that I had someone or someones who would have my back no matter what?
It’s so funny but those moments also paved way for my idea of romantic relationships. I have always dreamed of that person with whom I could be myself. No makeup, no shower, no trying to be perfect or who I wasn’t but being accepted as I was. I thought it was an unrealistic romantic notion but then I asked myself- If I can’t be that with my husband, who can I be that with? Can you imagine a lifetime being who you are not? Oh my goodness, the stress, the pain.
Have you watched Amazons The Marvelous Mrs Maisel? That is exactly what I am talking about. This lady is indeed marvellous because she, that is Midge would put on makeup to bed. Yes, you read right! Her husband had never ever seen her without makeup. And when he falls asleep, she jumps out of bed, removes her makeup and does all the things we girls need to do with our nighttime routine and gets back to bed.
An hour or so before He wakes up, she wakes up and gets herself “ready”- makeup and all, spritz on some perfume, fluffs her hair, jumps back into bed and arranges herself artfully in bed and then He wakes up in awe of what an amazing woman He married. I watched this and I thought, “Oh my God!!”. Ok, I am not saying, Do not look after yourself. I mean it’s part of self-love-yes, I am all about self-love. Read more about it here but let’s not digress: Can I not be myself? Can He not see the real me-inside and outside?
“You’ve got a friend in me, You’ve got a friend in me If you’ve got troubles, I’ve got them too There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you We stick together and can see it through Cause you’ve got a friend in me Yeah, you’ve got a friend in me”You’ve got a friend in me~ Randy Newman
That’s the power of friendships. A friendship built on a strong foundation of authenticity and loyalty can move mountains. It is my friends who have pushed me to become my best self, to embrace my potential and my destiny. Such friendships have given me a sense of security and belonging. But are we such friends? We should take the time and I know it’s not easy but we should try to nurture our friendships. Yes, let’s friend out loud! Let’s be the friends we have or wish we had. Because that’s who we are. This is me!
Let me know in the comments about your friends!! Lets friend out loud!
And to all the ladies out there,HAPPY WOMENS DAY!! May you be the kind of friends who are safe places. To friending out loud. Cheers🥂