Embracing My Femininity

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When I read the below quote, I burst out in laughter. I laughed out not because it was funny but because it was speaking to me. I am a girly girl but I have always had tomboy tendencies. If I am thinking of what to wear- believe me, jeans would be top of the list. I have never cared too much about how I dress. Yes, yes I know- First impressions are important. I have never cared about giving a good first impression. I was more of the line of thought if I did right, I did good, shouldn’t that speak for itself?

Credit: Medium

 “ It seems to be the fashion nowadays for a girl to behave as much like a man as possible. Well, I won’t! I’ll make the best of being a girl and be as nice a specimen as I can: sweet and modest, a dear, dainty thing with clothes smelling all sweet and Violeta, a soft voice, and pretty, womanly ways. Since I’m a girl, I prefer to be a real one!”

Mrs George de Horne Valzey

However Mrs Vaizey’s quote stirred something up in me. I felt something shatter in my heart and I began to ask myself, Was I using all that as an excuse? A way to build walls? An ‘I don’t care attitude’ to protect myself? It was a lot to take in. And then what exactly is femininity? According to Wikipedia, femininity is a set of attributes, behaviors, and roles generally associated with women and girls. But let’s delve deeper and unpack this whole mystique. Michelle Miller at a TEDxAmsterdam described femininity as experience oriented vs masculinity as results oriented. 

Questions? Questions?

Still not getting it…Me too…It brought out a myriad of questions like what is the difference between femininity and feminism? Are they the same things or completely different concepts? Aaaahhh it’s not easy being a woman in this day and age and as I pondered all this, I came across a definition by Ani DiFranco, a musician and activist who said,” Being feminine means I am okay with who I am, no matter what type of girl I am, what clothes I like to wear or what life path I choose.”

I decided that for now, this is the definition I will go with because isn’t it all about being who you are, who you were created to be, allowing yourself to discover that. There are so many ideas and concepts out there that can just confuse us. Sometimes we just need to leave being outward-looking and become inward-looking and delve into our hearts and search the innermost parts knitted by a wonderful creator to figure out who we are.

“It don’t matter what people say, cause they don’t know you Where you come from or where you’re going You are phenomenal woman You are phenomenal, phenomenal!”

 Phenomenal woman~ Laura Mvula

In the world of today, it is very confusing with all stereotypes and gender types. But I guess the question is not about other people but you. Who are you? How do you see you? We are in a time where we need to define ourselves according to our values and principles because that is what grounds us and makes us immovable in an era of fads that ebb with time.

In the end, we choose. So I choose to embrace my femininity ,”cause I’m a woman, phenomenally. PHENOMENAL woman. That’s me.” Yes that’s exactly who I am. This is me!




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About the author

Kajambo, Hello Everyone! Let me tell you a little bit about myself..... I am a multi-passionate Creative Storypreneur, Designer, Creative Consultant and Creativity Coach with a mission to inspire and empower creators- individuals and brands to embrace their stories to unlock their creative potential to design their authentic, purpose-driven brands. I am also the Founder and Creative Director of This is Me!, a digital platform that takes on the role of bringing my mission to life. I love color and all things creative! Well, This is me!

7 thoughts on “Embracing My Femininity”

  1. Two things; that thing that stirred in you at another woman defining femininity. That’s her own definition. And you crafted the response to it so well a couple of paragraphs later, to look inside of ourselves for answers. Nowadays I look at life as food. The purpose of it is universal, it’s forms are immensely diverse. And no one can say to there other, “Hey, your food is different from mine therefore yours is wrong”. No one ever does that instead we embrace our culinary differences with respect. We should do the same for our identities, after all we’re all human beans.

  2. Very interesting topic and relevant to our times. ” Being feminine means I am okay with who I am, no matter what type of girl I am, what clothes I like to wear or what life path I choose.” by Ani DiFranco, a musician and activist has sealed the conversation for me.

  3. This is a very interesting topic. You’ve got me asking questions I never knew I had! I think what’s confusing about femininity today is that whilst we are supposed to be “feminine” in certain situations, and many of us love feeling pretty and dainty, to thrive in this world requires “masculine” attributes. I think I’ll go for your idea of defining and embracing femininity for myself.


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