I went through a season of depression where the world was in grey. Everything was going ok in my life but I was just so uninspired. Have you ever gone through that? Or is that just me? I tried to do so many things to get myself out of this funk but I simply could not shake it off. I realized later on…..wwwaaayyyy later on that I couldn’t just shake it off because it was not an outward thing. It was something that had been manifesting in the inside of me for a long time and it was now just showing itself. So everything I was doing was treating the symptoms and not the actual cause.
“You are the books you read, the films you watch, the music you listen to, the people you spend time with, the conversations you engage in. Choose wisely what you feed your mind.”Jac Vanec
Soul searching is not easy and it can be a lonely journey because it’s only you. Whether I like to admit or not, I am the only one that can get myself out of it. Oh yes, I may have my friends and family to encourage me. I can even get a mentor to help me through the process but the actual real hard work lies in my my hands. The ball is literally and figuratively in my courts.
Well, I did not want to play ball and I began to become a shell of myself and then it began affecting my health. I started falling sick so my doctor looked me in the eye and said,” Patricia, I am referring you to a psychiatrist because this is not a physiological problem. It’s a psychological problem.” I was so shocked. How had I gotten myself to this point?
Anyway, I went to see the psychiatrist. She was an amazing woman. She looked at me after I had spoken and said,” I am going to put you on antidepressants.” I didn’t say anything. What could I say? So I got my prescription and went home. As I was preparing to take my medicine. A light bulb moment occurred. I asked myself,” Patricia,seriously??? This is what it has come to. No, I am not going to take this medicine. There has to be another way.”
“Feed your soul, Feed your soul If you are empty and you want to be whole Feed your soul, On bread and water Truth and silence, all sons and daughters Feed your soul.”Feed your soul~ Christa Wells
So I went online and I started reading and I came across articles about feeding your mind. I thought Ok, this is interesting. They talked about being surrounded by good influences- inspirational. When you put good stuff in, it’s obvious that good stuff will come out. Read good books, watch inspirational programs, listen to great speakers.
There is so much content out there and the majority are honestly not good for you. I needed to be intentional with what I took in. Our minds are like our bodies. If we want to be healthy, we will eat healthy foods, drink water, exercise. It is not rocket science and that’s what our minds need as well. I needed to feed my mind and soul with ‘good food’.
It’s all about intentionality. Am I willing to be intentional with what I feed my soul on? I believe it’s different for every one of us. It may be reading literature- be it fiction or nonfiction, appreciating art, listening to provocative conversations or even surrounding ourselves with things that are beautiful to us coz you know beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder.
When I understood that, I let go of the things that were killing my soul and embraced new things and it changed my outlook on life. Suddenly the world was in technicolor and I was at peace. Don’t you think we deserve that? That peace that surpasses all understanding. Well, it’s starts by being intentional about what we feed our souls on. So let’s do that so in the end, we can all say, That’s who I am. This is me!