Believing a Lie

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I have read the below verse quite a number of times. It’s probably on the top list of bible verses for healing anywhere. I am a Christian. I have been one for many many years. 18 years to be exact and I can honestly say that though I believe that verse, I never truly felt it applied to me. Which is quite weird considering I had sickle cell disease…You have seen that right there,haven’t you? I spoke in past tense. I guess you wonder why. But let’s just say I am on a journey of healing and thus speak those as if they already were.

I believed that God could do anything ,absolutely anything but healing was not his portion for me. I can’t really say why I thought that. I guess because after so many years of prayer,it had never really manifested. But to be completely honest, I don’t think I actually really prayed about. Sure, I’d say a couple of prayers here and there but it was not a deep and fervent prayer of my heart.

Now why was that? I guess I didn’t want to be disappointed. I had prayed the same three prayer points for over 10 years and nothing,nothing had happened so slowly by slowly, my faith waned. My trust in a most High God dwindled.You know,it is written hope deferred makes the heart sick. Oh! Never was there such a true statement such as that.

The journey to………

God heals all my diseases,redeems my life from destruction,and renews my youth like the eagle’s.”

Psalms 103:1-5

However,I have come to realize that not all diseases are physical. I am not downplaying the havoc a physical disease can have on the body. I have experience in this kind of havoc. But I can also say that there are some diseases that scour the depths of the soul, leave scars upon your heart and dredge up indescribable sorrow.And this my friend,is not so easy to heal. No amount of medication or the right protocol can help heal our emotional dis-ease. The lack of ease, of peace, of joy robbed due to careless words or actions can cause far greater pain than ever imagined. So what does one do when there is no medicine abound to heal this sort?

Prescribe Life..

I do not purport to have the answers but as a Doctor of my own dis-ease, I learnt that time is indeed one prescription. Hahaha!! You thought I was going to give you some voodoo hoodoo that would work miracles. No! Time! I had to allow myself the time to go through it and for each person,it is different. It has taken me years. Years!!! I tell you and still I am not yet there but I am on the journey.

On this journey, I realized that creativity was another prescription. One every day or in pharmacy speak: 1 x 1. I needed to do something creative everyday- be it bake, write, design,dance,anything that got me out of my head and using my soul and body. This blog is actually testament to that prescription. It’s my way of purging my soul of the pain,the fear and the anguish of hope deferred. These prescriptions have actually led me to …..

“Bless the Lord,O my soul. And all that is within me,bless His Holy name. He has done great things…….”

Psalms 103: 1

So I am not coming here telling you of a foolproof way to health- be it physical or emotional. I am simply telling you my story,my prescriptions. It may work for you. It may not……… but what I would want you to do is discover that which works for you. It may take many trials,many failures but I believe one day,you will fall on the combination that is just right and you too may share what time has taught you. Maybe one day,the world gets to share with the world what they have learnt and we can all be part of the healing process.Well, as for me, I am still work in progress. Still on that journey. Still finding my way through the miry clay. Yeah, you could call me,a Wayfinder! Because that’s exactly who I am. This is me!

But I can tell you one thing I am finding along this journey- I am slowly debunking the lie that God’s plan for me doesn’t include healing. It does! in so many facets,not just physically but emotionally and mentally. That is the kind of God I am coming to find out more about- A loving God who leaves me lost for words because He is and always will be amazing and His embrace,Oh His sweet embrace is so beautiful.

Loss for Words- William McDowell feat Trinity Anderson

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About the author

Kajambo, Hello Everyone! Let me tell you a little bit about myself..... I am a multi-passionate Creative Storypreneur, Designer, Creative Consultant and Creativity Coach with a mission to inspire and empower creators- individuals and brands to embrace their stories to unlock their creative potential to design their authentic, purpose-driven brands. I am also the Founder and Creative Director of This is Me!, a digital platform that takes on the role of bringing my mission to life. I love color and all things creative! Well, This is me!

4 thoughts on “Believing a Lie”

  1. Wow! Patricia! I am so proud of you! This piece demonstrates exactly the healing you speak of. We are getting there… I can’t wait to celebrate your next milestone.

  2. Exodus 15:26, Psalm 41:3, Psalm 147:3, Isaiah 33:24, James 5:15, Revelation 21:4
    hope you find something in this am going to tag you into a special blogger from Kenya that writes about sickle cells

  3. Thank you for sharing your story Patricia. Indeed you are sharing it so authentically. I will continue praying for you. We’ll see a victory.

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