I do not know which rock I have been living under to have not known about Luvvie Ajayi. She is like the best thing after sliced bread.. eerrmm pizza, definitely pizza…with lots of cheese and ham. And yes I like it with pineapple. No judging! Each one to her own. Anyway, I was on this random day scrolling through my Instagram and I came across one of her reels. It was like falling in love for the first time. This lady speaks TRUTH. She is a professional trouble-maker that I aspire to be.
I don’t know about the rest of the world but No is not an easy word to say. I don’t know if it is our cultures in Africa and the connotations of respect but you just don’t say No anyhow. You need to think about who you are saying it to, why you are saying it and how you are going to say it..by the time, you go through all that, believe me, you’ll be saying only one word and it ain’t no. It’s a resounding yes….
“You have to decide what your highest priorities are and have the courage pleasantly, smilingly, and non-apologetically – to say no to other things. And the way to do that is by having a bigger yes burning inside.”Steve Covey
As one who is on a journey of self discovery, by the way this journey never ends. It’s a till death do us part kinda situation, I realized that I was the proverbial people pleaser. Trying to make everyone happy and comfortable to the detriment of my own comfort. Wanting to be liked and admired and appreciated. What a waste of time and energy!! I look back and I can’t believe all that I did to get what I thought I wanted- to be liked. Mmmaann, thank you Jesus for revelation. Hallelujah!!
No is a complete sentence
Now I am in a place where I am learning NO! As it is, no additives, no preservatives, no flavours! It is au natural. We sometimes feel like we should beautify our NO’s and I agree sometimes it can come across as rude and sure, there are better ways to say no but there are days, yes you know those days where just two letters are required. Capisce! And it’s A-OK. Trying to kill yourself to do what? To prove what point? And then what? In Luvvie’s voice(Ha ha!) …NO….it is ok to just say no as it is. No is a complete sentence. Please understand that I CAN do it but I refuse to CAN.
It’s a new dawn It’s a new day It’s a new life for me, yeah It’s a new dawn It’s a new day It’s a new life for me, ooh And I’m feeling goodFeeling Good~ Nina Simone
Be a Professional No-Sayer
I have learnt that we can not allow someone to make us feel sorry for loving ourselves, for putting ourselves first. No, we can not! Apologizing for caring about ourselves. Apologizing for placing healthy boundaries. This needs to end. It will take time but we owe it to ourselves to do it, to fight through it however hard it may get and believe me, it will get hard. Check out the link on more of this.
But one day, it will dawn on you that it has gotten easier to say no to things that are just not for you, things that do not grow or develop you. It’s about time we start saying yes to the things and people who impact us positively. Say No to Say Yes!
But in all this, we have a choice- Yes or No? You gotta choose! Do you know a sooth-sayer??Yes, exactly that one that you are thinking about- that one who is believed to have the ability to know and tell what will happen in the future. Mmhh..now imagine you are a No-sayer- the one with the ability to foretell your future because you are saying no to things and people that negatively impact you, no to unfavourable and toxic circumstances. In saying no, you are saying yes to growth, to love, to bold shifts, to opportunities. SO SAY NO TO SAY YES! Be a Professional No-sayer!…Yeah! That’s who you are. This is Me!