“Authenticity is a collection of choices that we have to make every day. It’s about the choice to show up and be real. The choice to be honest. The choice to let out true selves be seen.”Brene Brown
Everyone knows I am in love with Brene Brown. I simply love her books and all she has to teach. One of her teachings is to be authentically you and really there is no other person I would want to quote on that but her.
Reading this I see that authenticity is simply living life, being true to who you want to be. I always thought it was who you are now but then I realised we are bombarded with so much that can derail us like social media, society ,perspectives from well-meaning people but there comes a time when you have to ask yourself the hard questions of who you are and who you want to be…all on your own terms.
And that led to this blog post. The questions Who Are you? How do you even answer that? I am not even going to lie that I have the answers. I am still on the journey like you but what I have learnt so far is that it is dependant on my values.
“Don’t let the expectations and opinions of other people affect your decisions. It’s your life, not theirs. Do what matters most to you; do what makes you feel alive and happy. Don’t let the expectations and ideas of others limit who you are. If you let others tell you who you are, you are living their reality — not yours. There is more to life than pleasing people. There is much more to life than following others’ prescribed path. There is so much more to life than what you experience right now. You need to decide who you are for yourself. Become a whole being. Adventure.”Roy T Bennett
But what are values exactly? Like, let’s get real because this took me a lllloooonnggg time to understand. Like for real. I wrote about it here
Values are basic and fundamental beliefs that guide or motivate attitudes or actions. They help us to determine what is important to us. Values describe the personal qualities we choose to embody to guide our actions; the sort of person we want to be; the manner in which we treat ourselves and others, and our interaction with the world around us. They provide the general guidelines for conduct.
So values are simply your motive towards purposeful action. It is what is important to you that makes you wake up and do the things that you do. It is what drives you. It answers the question of why do you do what you do? I hope as you are reading this you are indeed thinking about these questions and how it pertains to you.
When I was able to answer this, I was then able to list down my values. Most coaches say three to five top values so I will share my top three values with you though it is actually five and I even have an acronym for them #FAACE. Get it? seeing me at face value. Haha! So corny. I know but I love it,
This was a doozy because I wanted freedom in different areas till I realised this is my life. I can do things anyway I want. So I am all about freedom of self-expression, location, time and money. I want to be able to express my true self as I so wish. I want to wear all colours of the rainbow on myself if I so wish and I have done that a couple of times. I love colour and it was liberating to realize that it was a way to express myself.
I am the girl who for now is dreaming of van life touring Africa, showcasing the creatives and creativity of Africa. Waking up in Mozambique and going to bed by Mount Kilimanjaro all the while blogging, podcasting and vlogging about it, rebranding the narrative of Africa through the creative economy thus my time is my own and of course, I have financial freedom from various streams of passive income. I am a work in progress. We are getting there.
As you can see it is a no brainer, I am talking about authenticity because It is very important to me. I want to be the girl who is true to herself and what she values. I know society can make us..well make me stumble a bit but at the end of the day, I pray that my decisions and life will speak clearly of who I am.
It was weird seeing adventure was a value to be considering that I hadn’t adventure in a long time. But it just kept coming back until I had to accept it. Matt Walker, a psychologist defined adventure as living at the crossroad of your values. I was like mmmhhh but he further went on to define physical adventure and mindful adventure.
I was like ok we are getting somewhere till he landed on this definition,” Adventure is the willingness to commit to an uncertain outcome with an open heart and a willingness to learn and engage. It is the ability to take a leap into the unknown with mindfulness and grace” It is an attitude and lifestyle choice. It is an expression of your heart’s intention and passion for life. I read this and thought yes yes yes and yes!!!
“We need to find the courage to say NO to the things and people that are not serving us if we want to rediscover ourselves and live our lives with authenticity.”Barbara de Angelis
Be Authentically You!
Being authentic is hard. It is like a battlefield with everything trying to fight you. It is like you are rowing against the current and then rapids are added to the mix, then a waterfall is put in there just for fun. Oh and why not add crocodiles at the end. I mean shheesshh! Can a girl get a break?
But you see that is what we need to fight against. If it was easy, would we be doing the things that we are doing? I do not think so. Well, I know for a fact I would not be doing it. So let your hair down! Kick out the shackles on your feet. Express yourself, your true self. It won’t be easy but it will be worth it because in the end, it is what matters to you that really matters. We need to start caring about what drives us, what sparks joy because we deserve it. Be Authentic! Be You! Be Authentically You!
So how are you being authentic? What are your values? What are you up to? Pop over to the comments section and share with us.